Three words to describe my Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympic experience: amazing, inspiring and disappointing.

On 23rd February I headed to Cypress Mountain for my Olympic debut. The conditions changed from bright sunshine (that we had all week for training) to cloudy with wet snow falls. My training had been going well all week.

Along with most of the competitors I sat in the tent at the top of the course watching the live coverage of the first few competitors (if I could go back in time I would change this, but I can’t). I sat watching the first 24 competitors go down the Cypress Mountain Olympic course before deciding to get myself prepared.
I started to shake while watching the other competitors and left the tent feeling breathless and stressed. I don’t know why this happened. No one had put any pressure on me and no one had any expectations of me. After all, my lifelong dream was to get to the Olympic Games. I was living my dream. Yet I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to perform just ten minutes prior to my qualification run. I don’t think I will ever understand what happened that day.

I left the starting gate missing my start, missing my pole plant, twisting sideways and barely making it over the first feature. Interestingly all the competitors had spent most of their training time just practising the first two features. We had all never skied anything like them. Amazingly the Canadians flew over them with no problem every run. It is amazing what a year of training on them will do.
I lost 1.5 seconds from the winner in the first 10 metres. On a good day I will be 2.5 seconds behind on a full length World Cup course of 1 minute 8 sec in length. The course in Cypress was 1.2 km and I had already lost 1.5 seconds in 10 metres. If that wasn’t the start to a shocker I don’t know what is!
I continued on down the course after a terrible start trying to catch up time. The first few features I skied well, then about a third of the way down off the big Olympic ring jump I landed long, took an indirect line and just lost all my speed heading into the flat section of the course. I unfortunately had lost my speed and couldn’t do anything about it.

I didn’t manage to clear the jumps along the flat, which had not happened on any other run. I had an oncoming head wind and I hit the back side of the triple and the double, and then landed dead flat on the corner jump, crawling into the two final jumps. I knew I had stuffed the run up when I saw I was 33rd with one more competitor to go. I felt disappointment. I smiled for the camera and tried to appreciate my Olympic experience.

But when I saw the final time on the scoreboard that is when I just fell into a heap. The time was really slow, slower than I could even imagine. I had never been that far out in my life. Why did it have to be on the one day I have worked towards for 14 years when the whole world is watching?

I finished the event in 34th position. I was totally disappointed as I had been so competitive at the events coming into the Olympics. I think my result was a representation of what I had endured physically, mentally and emotionally in my journey to the Olympic Games. I guess I had hoped it might all finally fall into place but instead it was quite the opposite.

Everyone keeps trying to remind me I am one of only 35 women in the world who qualified for the Olympic Games for ski cross. I know I travelled a different journey to most. I know how hard I worked to get there and then I got there and it was satisfying. But for a result that bad to come along and crush that dream which I managed to achieve it is pretty devastating.

I spent a lot of the following days in Vancouver punishing myself over it. It is easy to say snap out of it and appreciate what you have achieved but I guess you always want more. I don’t think I will ever be satisfied with my Olympic experience. I am better than that but maybe one day I will be able to appreciate the hard journey in achieving my dream.

After days of devastation, I was pretty pleased to have achieved swapping my GB pins for an official pin from all 17 nations that competed in ladies ski cross. My collection is complete.

The closing ceremony was a great event. I would describe it as organised chaos, but it was enjoyable. Last night we had a final athlete party in the athlete’s lounge in the Vancouver village. After punishing myself all week and not hitting the town at all, I decided to give it a go. I thought it wasn’t going to happen after enjoying a cup of tea with Chio at midnight. We gave it one last shot and thankfully I felt a change and we danced into the early morning.

I managed to swap a number of pieces of clothing that night – a Czech Republic pyjama top, Swiss furry jacket, Swedish T-shirt and a Danish Curling top (I tried my heart out to get the mens’ Danish curling pants with colourful diamonds all over them, but he refused! He said it was because he had to do media stuff upon his return but I wasn’t convinced! All in all, my outfit was incomplete). Overall it was a good night and I finally had a smile on my face. I have really enjoyed the company of my GB Freestyle team mates Sarah Ainsworth (aerials) and Ellie Koyander (moguls). It has been a great experience for the three of us and I look forward to reuniting at the next major freestyle event.

Team GB departs the village today. We will set off for a final team lunch on the water, before heading to Vancouver airport and flying back to Heathrow. It has been fantastic to meet so many athletes from other sports. I have extended my trip to try and finish the remainder of the ski cross season, I just haven’t had a chance to enjoy myself this season. I need to remember why I do this sport; why I love this sport and why I enjoy this sport. I can’t say that I feel good at the moment, but hopefully after another month of events I will.

Then I am back to University to play catch up and hope to knock a few more subjects off the list. My next goal is to complete my University degree by the end of 2010. An Olympic Games and a degree in one year would be pretty pleasing. I am now in the process of trying to realise my next life goal. I will be in touch soon.

How can it get to six weeks before the start of the English county season and it still not be confirmed whether the Twenty20 tournament finalists will be able to play in the Champions League (CL)? An article on Cricinfo this week has suggested that the ECB did not respond in time to the invitation for two teams to participate in the 2010 tournament. This is aside from the fact that the tournament dates are set to clash with the finale of the County Championship, the 40-over play-offs and the England ODI series against Pakistan.

All these problems stem from when the ECB decided to reject the offer to become co-commercial right owners of the CL alongside the Australian, South African and Indian governing bodies. This has already cost the ECB millions in revenue. The decision effectively meant that we are simply ‘customers’ rather decision-makers. The reason for the original decision? Alan Stanford. We may as well have invested all our money in The Lehman Brothers at the same time.

All these issues are resulting in a growing feeling of resentment from the players towards the ECB. The CL is a huge pay-day for those who qualify. The ECB are refusing to accommodate the CL by means of rearranging county fixtures. Admittedly, this would be a logistical headache, but the aggressive posturing by the ECB by way of stating that the fixtures will not be adjusted not only irritates the players, but also fires a shot in the on-going power-battle between Asia and England. One feels that this is a battle that the West is destined to lose, taking into account the fact that other powerful nations have aligned themselves with India already.

So what are the consequences in England of lack of CL participation? Well, there are already signs of a shift in players’ approach to playing the game. Twenty20 specialists may become freelance cricketers, playing as overseas players for number of domestic teams, therefore increasing their chances of qualifying for the lucrative annual tournament. Such are the timings of the South African, Australian, New Zealand, IPL and English domestic tournaments, a player could conceivably play in all five of them, participate in the Champions League, retire from 50 over/1st class cricket and still be better off financially.

ECB and their problems aside, the way that the game is being run from the Continent is also concerning. The number of unofficial quotes and leaked reports that come from various sources, keeps everyone guessing as to what is actually going on, and draws into question whether anybody actual has any sort of planned agenda. Apparently this week, the ECB were informally approached about hosting the 2010 Champions League. (Surely, this would be hugely controversial if they also refused to budge on the County fixtures effectively not allowing the County teams to play, yet still finding the facilities to host). The very next day, Cricket South Africa announced that they were hosting the event, only to be later denied by Lalit Modi. No doubt the subject of who will host the 2010 tournament will drag on. It is scheduled to commence in about seven months time. When the venue finally gets announced, be sure to hear of an ongoing saga about security measures, and team safety. Will there be enough time to put everything that is required into place? Other major tournaments, (admittedly they often have two or four years of planning), seem to have everything in place much further in advance. The CL at this stage however, are unsure as to their venue and their participants. Fairly important commodities I suggest.

So I am back in Vancouver and have had two days training on the course at Cypress. For a mountain with no snow…they have done a great job! The ski cross course at Cypress is… in a word… big!

Out of the start you have sharp steps cut into the snow followed by two large wu-tangs, when I say large, they are 15 feet! They also have steps cut out of them, making it even more difficult to clear, making the start super important. After these, the course really starts to get busy and fast!

You take a big jump into the first banked turn, and then you follow a long track of big jumps, double rollers, banked corners, step ups, step downs, a triple, a corner jump and finishing with the second last jump that kicks you high into the air, with a long flat section coming into the last jump built from scaffolding and wood, which is 4.5m high, throwing you half way down the landing ramp and into the finishing area. It is a long busy course; some describe it “like doing 60 squats with a heavy weight”.

The men’s event was spectacular today. Michael Schmid from Switzerland being unbeatable, clearing out on the competition, with Andreas Matt of Austria in second and Audun Grønvold of Norway snapping up the bronze after Chris Del Bosco, the Canadian favourite, was thrown high into the air on the second last jump and crashing down on his side. The whole event was just spectacular and truly intense to watch.

We have another day of training tomorrow before the ladies Ski Cross kicks off on the 23rd with qualification 10.30am Vancouver time and the finals starting 1pm. Training has been going really well for me so I hope it all comes together on the 23rd. I am super excited!

Well I arrived in Belgium yesterday in Oudenaarde, which will be my base for potentially the next seven months! We moved into a new house which is gorgeous, it’s a three bedroom bungalow attached on to a B&B and has been recently renovated so everything is new and shiny! It’s equipped with everything we need and has three big squashy sofas which will be lovely to come back to after a hard days training!

Today was a 30 minute spin on stationary rollers before breakfast, stretching, core and glute exercises then out on the road for just over two hours. We rode on part of the course of the Omloop het Nieuwsblad, a race we are doing in six days time – it looks like it will be a tough one! Then it was back to the house for more food, more sleep and more training. This time it was on the turbo…a nasty little time trialling session using a power tap wheel so every second and pedal stroke counts and there’s no hiding!… But they do say no pain no gain!

We’ve got two games now at home and we are definitely looking to build on the excellent results at Gillingham and Southend.

Looking at the table we know that if we can take maximum points from the next two then we could find ourselves four or five places up the table but we are not thinking about that just yet.

All we want right now is for the players to continue giving as much as they have done since we took over and carry on being hard to beat because that is always a good base going into games.

We are reliant very heavily on our home form, just as any other team in the bottom four are. There is always expectancy from the fans to do well at home, make it a fortress and be difficult to beat but you are going to lose one or two, as we did against Oldham, the important thing is how you bounce back and see if you can get back to back results.

The fans have been brilliant this season despite not having too much to cheer about at times. I know it is an old cliché but you really can make a difference. It is not just about the 11 players on the pitch but everyone in and around the club and that includes all the fans who travel home and away.

We have played Leyton Orient three times already so we know all about them but we think we have improved a lot since then and hopefully they will go away on Saturday agreeing.

So get behind the players, over the next two matches, make a lot of noise and hopefully we will give you something to cheer about.

I am currently sat on the balcony of my sister-in-law’s apartment in Bangkok. We had the intention of stopping over to see the family here for a couple of days on our way back to the UK. However, due to the short-term nature rearrangement of the return flights, we find ourselves in Bangkok for six nights. It was going to be seven!

It ended up being not such a bad thing. I have been pretty ill over the last few days – antibiotics and everything! Trying to negotiate two stints of 11 1/2 hours flying, all within 24 hours, would probably not have been a good move.

My last Saturday in charge of the East Coast Bays saw me watching from my car as I undertook a self-imposed quarantine from the the rest of the team. As I drifted from cold sweat to hot sweat, and back and forth to the toilet, the performance of the pitch was just as depressing. After a number of weeks of growth and encouragement from our batting line-up, we reverted back to traditional Bays ways, by falling to 135 all out. Suburbs New Lynn, our opposition, were more ruthless in their chase than we were penetrating in our defense, and cruised pass the total before taking a 40 run lead into the second day. They were four wickets down, but would have been one if it wasn’t for their generosity in the run-out department, handing us three easy dismissals.

Over the last five weeks they have definitely missed my bowling and possibly missed my middle-order contributions with the bat over the last three days cricket. My philosophy as their coach on a Saturday has always been to leave it to the captain. I have contributed when asked but, once the warm ups have been completed, I have mainly switched on as a player only. This made my contribution from the sidelines largely inhibited and a very frustrating experience.

Back to normality in a few days then. Single figure temperatures, possible white precipitation. I look forward to digging out all my thermals from the loft in time for our preseason friendlies!

This week back at home has been pretty mixed. I had a good few days training over the weekend and early on in the week. I did a mixture of road miles and sessions on the turbo, all of which were pretty tough! However I also had a minor investigative operation for my stomach to see if any more could be found out about what has been causing the pain and swelling. It was also time for packing-up again, this time for Belgium! We set off tomorrow and travel from Manchester to Kent, then make the crossing across the channel the next day.

I have been away for a while but I am glad to be back. I’ve been ever so busy with two games a week and long trips up and down the country so apologies for not updating this as often as I should.

We have done ever so well in recent weeks both performance wise and the accumulation of points which we are all absolutely delighted with.

Winning at Gillingham was excellent, it was particularly pleasing to go 1-0 up and actually see a game through. The game at Southend was pleasing for different reasons because we went a goal down and fought back and got a very deserved equaliser.

The win away from home has been a long time coming but we don’t tend to dwell on what’s happened before and the length of time between away wins. What we look for is performances and if we perform to levels we can then we know we can pick up points here and there. We have done well recently with points also at both Charlton and Huddersfield so any points we can pick up away from home are gratefully received.

The credit at the moment has to go down to the consistency of the players’ performance. They have reached new heights. We do demand a lot from them, we push them hard and they are responding and they are getting their rewards right now and now we can catch not only one team but three or four.

- you can read an interview with Wayne on the Football League website by clicking here – where he talks about his latest achievements.

Wow, I have just returned to Calgary after the Olympic Opening Ceremony…and it was brilliant. Team GB were the best dressed, or at least up there, and the red beret went down really well and it grew on me!

I must say walking through the underground with the performers and volunteers cheering and giving high fives made the hairs on my back stand up. That’s when it started to hit home I am at the Olympics!

Walking into the stadium was overwhelming, it’s just surreal. Very special. I thought KD Lang was one of the highlights of the ceremony, and I thought the minute silence for the Georgian Luge athlete who so tragically died in training earlier that day, was also done very well. The feeling of being in their amongst all the athletes from all nations was really quite special.

I slept in the Olympic village but didn’t have a lot of time to find my way around or make myself at home. I did like that we got a little token which hangs on our accreditation and you can walk up to any Coke vending machine, swipe it and get what you want, for free.

I then flew back to Calgary for more training. I think I will be heading back to Vancouver on the 16th Feb.

It’s been a hectic day today packing up my flat in Manchester. I seem to have acquired a lot of general ’stuff’ this winter – mainly clothes! Needless to say, next winter I’ll be travelling to Manchester a lot lighter! I’m back home in Yorkshire now with my room a mass of bags and boxes to be sorted through for the move to Belgium next weekend.

I’m really looking forward to getting back on the road though, it’s been a long winter on the track so it’s time to get some strength and endurance together now. I had a ramp test and submax test this week – both are physiological tests designed to see how much power you can produce and involve a lot of pain and sweating on a stationary bike rig! The ramp test went really well and I improved on my peak power from last time; however the submax didn’t go quite as well. I’ve been having some problems with my stomach which flared up again making it quite hard to complete the test.

Looking forward to tomorrow’s training; a four to five hour ride in the Yorkshire Dales with a group that train by me. It’ll be nice to see everyone again before I head out to Belgium, although I’m sure they won’t go easy on me!